Dear Jacquie, I’m with a man who thinks the world of me and me of him but I’m destroying this relationship with my irrational jealousy over his past. He has had countless women over the years, most of whom meant little to him. He makes me so happy, he’s kind and loving but I seem hell-bent on destroying what we have. He’s 73 and I’m 70. We’re both at an age where we value companionship but we’re lucky enough to also have a physical relationship. I hate how I behave when I’m feeling retrospective jealousy, I’m very hurtful and then spend days in tears because of the awful things I’ve said. Please can you offer me some advice on how to overcome this problem?
Thank you
Here is your answer
![Dear Jacquie I’m destroying my relationship with my irrational jealousy over his past 14 Agony Aunt My Wokingham](https://mywokingham.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2022/05/B84BCD4F-EEDD-48BC-B271-B193A87E4CA9-1-1-e1652978888874-300x283.webp)
Thank you for reaching out and sharing your feelings with me. It takes courage to acknowledge and address personal challenges within a relationship. It’s clear that you value your connection with your partner and want to overcome the destructive patterns that have emerged due to irrational jealousy.
Here are some suggestions that might help you navigate through this issue:
Self-reflection- Take some time to reflect on the root cause of your jealousy. Is it insecurity, past experiences, or fear of losing him?
Understanding the source can help you work towards a solution.
Be honest and open with your communication, it is essential. Try not to emotionally stack. You have to ask what is making you angry and share your feelings with your partner in a calm and non-confrontational manner. Maybe try writing out your feelings.
Speak to a professional. Professional guidance can provide valuable insights, coping strategies, and tools to address underlying issues causing jealousy.
Remind yourself that your partner has chosen to be with you now. Concentrate on the positive aspects of your relationship and the happiness you share rather than dwelling on the past.
Overcoming jealousy is a process that takes time and effort. Be patient with yourself. Your willingness to address the issue is a positive step towards creating a healthier and more fulfilling relationship.
I hope that helps Jacquie
Submit Agony Aunt Questions – Ask Jacquie
My Wokingham’s very own Agony Aunt, Jacquie, is at your service to offer guidance and support. If you’re grappling with an issue, big or small, Jacquie is here to provide wisdom and sound advice.
Whether it’s a concern that impacts many of us or a more personal dilemma, sharing it could not only lead to solutions for you but also aid others facing similar challenges. Jacquie is ready to address a wide range of topics, from family disputes, grief, eating disorders, phobias, lifestyle choices, to intimate or relationship issues, work stress, anxiety, and financial worries.
Go to: Ask Jacquie